As parents, we expect the truth from our children.  As a spouse, we expect the truth from our partner.  If we are part of an organization, we expect the truth from our peers or management.  When things happen that are not fully explained, doubt creeps in.  Trust begins to break down.  The more time that passes, the more difficult it becomes to fully trust again.

We expect the truth from every person unless we think it will be unpleasant.  We say we want the truth and become angry when it does not meet our expectations.  At times, there are few things more painful than accepting reality.  We hear the truth and explode with anger or tears.  What we put into the world is what we get back!  If you want the truth, you must regulate your response.  This does not mean that when your child admits to stealing or smoking, you passively accept their actions.  It is wise, however, to celebrate the truth.  The truth is rooted in...

Parents celebrate a child’s first words.  There is anticipation for the words that follow.  Contrast a child’s first words with the first words of an average, everyday conversation.  It is highly likely you have never considered how you begin a conversation.  Do you open a conversation with a derogatory statement or a positive statement?

Here are a few ways people initiate conversation:

Negative Nellie – “This place has the worst service.”

Our first words set the tone for the remainder of the conversation.  Why do so many of us begin a conversation with a negative tone?  Negativity sells.  Ever wonder why news headlines have a negative tone?  The media understands the psychology of people and we are far more likely to pay attention to a negative headline versus a positive one.  Negativity sells and we instinctively know it, so we tend to initiate conversations with negativity to increase our chances of...

Each morning, I take a few minutes to write a paragraph about someone or something I am grateful for in my life.  Recently, I wrote about how grateful I am to be a father.  I asked myself how I could be a better father and what my children should expect of me.  It occurred to me that I had not been intentional about the values and qualities of character I most desired to develop in my children.  So I started writing and came up with 11 values and qualities that resonated with me.  My reason for sharing these qualities with you is in hopes of inspiring you to take the time to write down the qualities of character you most hope to inspire in your children.  The next level is to intentionally role model those qualities every day for your children.

Unusual Kindness

I want my daughters to have a big heart and a strong desire to help others.  The essence of kindness is generosity toward others.  I want their kindness to shine through in every action...

Leadership and parenting are nearly one and the same.

Let’s take a look:

Tough Decisions

All decisions have consequences, but tough decisions have consequences that impact lives beyond our own. Tough decisions involve others and likely will not be popular because they will require the near-term pain of change. Parents might decide to pull their child out of their current school and put them into a different learning environment. The reasons could be for academics or peer shifts. The easy answer is the status quo. No change. As a parent who wants to lead, the decision to change will be difficult. As a leader, the decision must be made to give the child their best chance for their future.

As a business example, let’s say there is a company division that has been underperforming. This division is no longer part of the core business and efforts to get it on track have not worked out. The division employs 50 people whose families are relying on the salaries and it has been a...

Humans are social creatures.  We crave companionship and belonging.  Friendship is part of the human experience and can be one of the most rewarding aspects of life.  Have you ever thought about the best strategy for cultivating meaningful friendships?  I have spent the majority of my career learning about people.  This study has primarily focused on understanding what motivates people and how we most effectively connect.  It occurred to me that there should be a set of guidelines for establishing and maintaining meaningful friendships.  My hope is that this list helps you build deeper and more meaningful friendships or at least inspires you to ponder what is important for you.

1. Be a good listener. The most interesting people we meet are often those that ask questions and listen.  They encourage others to speak, and then they listen.  Most of us wait to respond without actually listening to the other person.  Listening is a...

This talk will be a little different than the talk about the birds and the bees. This talk is for young adults entering the world on their own. It might also be a good reset for adults struggling to find their place in the world. I have often reflected on my life in an effort to better understand how I arrived at my current station.   Reflection is a powerful exercise for a better future because when we understand what got us here, we will know what might get us there. Wherever “there” is for you. As for my story after college, I was a bit train wreck. After four years at Purdue University, I moved back to my hometown of North Vernon, Indiana. My first job was my dream job because I was working at Cummins Engine Company. As a kid growing up in Southern Indiana, we didn't have much money, but I realized that the kids that had money also had parents working at Cummins. That became my goal!   Fresh out of college I was ready to change the world and my...

Maya Angelou said “I have learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” It occurred to me that this statement applies to more than just conversations or interactions with others. It can be applied to nearly all aspects of life and work. If you want to leave the person you are interacting with feeling good about themselves, or a customer feeling good about your company, just focus on a happy ending.

First let's go over the fundamentals of attentively interacting with another person or company:

1. Be present when they are present. What comes to mind when a person you are talking to looks at their phone or watch?  They aren't paying attention, or maybe there is something more important for them to tend to. Wherever you are, being there is fundamental to building meaningful relationships and maintaining sanity in this ultra-connected world. Think of your attention as...